Reptile Wines

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Reptile Wines Novel John Hewitt authorA snaky vinter, horse racing, relationship revenge and interstellar aliens—REPTILE WINES is a rare-vintage farce.

“Hewitt’s prose, littered with deliciously bizarre dialogue and other vivid details, makes his larger-than-life world feel fit for the big screen…an outrageously weird yet delightfully charming wine-country tale.” —Kirkus Reviews

Carl Hiaasen meets ‘Sideways’—with pinches of ‘Falcon Crest’ and ‘The Godfather’ tossed in for spice.” —Darrell Laurant, author of The Kudzu Kid

Reptile Wines, Fifth Novel by Author John Hewitt

A hapless yet loveable winery tour guide upends the Napa Valley in a wild search for his twice-dead pal—greed, larceny, lust and cosmic wills collide with comedy.

Reptile Wines opens with a zinger—a race-is-on hallmark of his four previous comic novels. Miles Trout is a guide for a low frills wine country tour outfit. When he’s called from the break room by fellow drivers to find his cousin, Reptile Wines co-owner Lucky Tarpitz, dead—for a second time.

When Lucky’s corpse disappears, Miles vows to find the truth behind the suspicious death and is pulled into a dark world of loan sharks, money launderers, charlatan diviners and overzealous federal agents.

Lucky’s scheming mother Angelina, the high-voltage spark behind Reptile Wines, continually leads Miles astray while other distraught relatives mount a campaign of dangerous ambushes. In his frantic search, Miles spends extravagantly on Lucky’s lazy racehorse Love Blisters and carries on a stumbling affair with female jockey and former exotic dancer, Pixie Limber.

Miles thinks he may find Lucky when he unearths the hideout of a dead winemaker and astronomer. Instead he discovers the man alive and secretly inviting space aliens to the wine country. The ATF and FBI have their man, but Miles is still missing Lucky. He knows one more place south of the border where Lucky may be resting and he’s determined to find him—dead or alive.